Just Desserts
by PadawanMage
Summary: What happens when Percy is sent by Cornelius Fudge to owl the Daily Prophet in Order of the Phoenix and he bumps into a certain pair of brothers who'd like a word with him (Alternate Universe)?


Title: Just Desserts

Spoilers: Up to and Including Order of the Phoenix

Author's Notes: I'm not sure about the other readers of the last book out there, but Percy really, really got to me (to put it lightly) in OOTP, especially his attitude towards his family and Harry. So, I had an idea of what would happen if Percy, on his way to owl the Daily Prophet, bumps into a pair of brothers. Let's just say, he gets what he deserves!

If you liked what you read, or even if you have some critiques, please leave a review. Thank you.

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Percy Weasley dashed up to the Owlery, nearly panting as he double-checked his notes. Several owls screeched as he made his blustery entrance into their midst. He checked his notes one last time since he didn't want to embarrass himself – or, more importantly, Cornelius Fudge – if the morning edition of the Daily Prophet misread or misquoted anything he wrote down by mistake. 

He looked around for the fastest owl he could find, picked one, and started to fasten the rolled-up parchment onto its leg. It wasn't Hermes, but he would have to do.

"To the Daily Prophet!" he commanded, as he carried the laden bird to the window. "And snap to it!" The owl turned an annoyed eye to Percy before it flew off – almost mockingly – at a leisurely pace. Percy frowned, but realized there was nothing more to be done.

I knew it! he thought self-righteously. Dumbledore's duplicity in this whole sordid affair was finally coming to light. Dumbledore's Army, indeed! Nothing but destabilizing everything they'd been working for!

Maybe now the family could finally see the error of their ways; associating themselves with the likes of Albus Dumbledore would lead to nothing but trouble. Percy's hand tightened on the railing. Couldn't his family – couldn't his father – realize that they were doing? His nostrils flared a bit at the…discussion he'd had with his father just before he moved out. That his father could even suggest that he was nothing more than a spy for the Ministry still incensed him and once he realized that he wasn't going to get anywhere with his father, he packed up his few belongings and left.

The last time he had seen his father was at the hearing for the Potter boy (another thorn in the Minister's side). The last time he had seen his mother was when she showed up at his front door and tried to talk to him. Percy felt a slight twinge of guilt at slamming the door on her face, but quickly squashed it when even she tried to 'warn' him about the reason he'd been promoted and worked so closely with the Minister.

He shook his head and realized he'd been dallying too much and was about to head back to Dumbledore's office when the door to the Owlery flew open and in walked the two people he least expected and wanted to see.

Fred and George Weasley came in, talking excitedly.

"I figure, one more deposit and the place is ours!" Fred exclaimed.

George nodded. "It's about time Zonko's got a little competition. I sometimes thought that their prices were a little dodgy!" 

Both turned, and seeing whom else was in the room, stopped right in their tracks.

"Oh boy…" Fred said softly, as both the twins' excited expressions fell from their faces.

If there were any two groups so diametrically opposed to each other – in terms of personality – it was the twins and Percy. All three just stared at each other; Percy haughtily, and twins blankly.

For long moments no one said anything; only the fluttering of wings and the occasional screech was heard.

Finally George turned a thoughtful gaze to his brother. "What do you see in front of us, Fred?" he asked mildly.

"Dunno," answered Fred. "I mean, it looks like a Weasley, walks like a Weasley, falls somewhat short of acting like a Weasley…."

"But smells suspiciously like Fudge," finished George.

"Well, look at his nose," Fred pointed out. 

Frowning, Percy brought a hand up and touched his nose. His whole head began to redden when he realized that it was still covered with ink from the entire time he'd been taking notes for the Minister.

"Well," George started, "it only goes to show you what happens when you stick your nose so far up someone's…"

"I will not have you insulting the Minister of Magic!" Percy interrupted heatedly. Both twins said nothing more, but looked on almost amused. 

Percy stared down at them. "Up to no good….again, I assume?"

The twins were mockingly shocked at the accusation.

"– No good? – "

"– Us? – "

"– Well, it would depend on your definition of 'good' – "

"– Especially coming from you – "

Percy frowned and shook his head. After his leaving of the Burrow, he'd gotten several owls from his older brothers and even one from Ginny. All of them were critical of his behavior, not only to them, but also more importantly to their parents. He tried a few times to get them to see his point of view, but they were blinded by all the codswallop Dumbledore was feeding them. Not that he cared, but he never received a single owl from the twins.

"I have nothing to say to either one of you, so if you don't mind – " He made to leave the Owlery, but the twins simply stood there.

Percy glared from one to the other and straightened his back.

"Are you aware of the penalties for hindering a Ministry official on official business?" he asked in disdain.

Fred turned to George, who cocked and eyebrow.

"Well," said George. "Since you put it that way – "

"Who are we to stop you?" finished Fred.

And both twins parted. Percy merely nodded and made for the door, his mind already on what might be happening back in Dumbledore's office.

As he passed right between them, he heard one of them say:

"Your brothers, that's who…"

Percy rounded on the nearest, preparing to give a good tongue-lashing, when he found his arms pinned behind him. 

"What are you doing?! Let me go!" he yelled. 

George, holding back his struggling brother, smiled grimly as he nodded to Fred, whose hand was jammed into his pocket and coming out with several small multi-colored squares.

Percy was indignant. "Assault on a Ministry official! I'll have your wands!"

"Oh shut up, Weatherby!" Fred growled as he bit off a half of one of the colored squares and - before Percy was aware of what was going on – jammed the other half into his mouth.

Instantly, all the strength left his body and he sagged limply in George's arms as the worst fever he'd ever felt in his entire life slammed down on him.

"What – what have you done to me?!" he moaned, as he tried and failed to get to his feet. The worst feeling of dry-mouth also hit him and he could barely speak a word.

"Oh, just running a test on our upcoming produce line, as well as taking a little of your precious time so that we can give you a small piece of our mind," George said, watching as Percy slumped back with a groan to the floor covered in owl-droppings.

"Yeah, we didn't have much of a chance when you had that row with Dad," added Fred, "And we weren't there when you slammed the door on Mum's face."

"Listen…." Percy croaked out, but was cut off by an angry George.

"No, you sanctimonious git! For once in your miserable life, you will listen to us!" Fred growled, uncharacteristically angry. "First off, you don't want to talk to our parents? Fine! But be a little more respectful about it and not so bloody arrogant, or you'll definitely find yourself in worse straits."

"We know about the letter you sent Ron warning him to stay away from 'certain people'," George added. "We don't like the ideas you've been having about trying to turn our younger brother. Just because he made Prefect, doesn't mean he's anything like you."

"And even at Ron's worst, he's a far better person than you ever will be," Fred pointed out.

"Leave Ron alone," warned George. "He doesn't need the likes of you telling him how to act and what to do. Especially when it comes to his friends and whom he decides to hang around."

"Do yourself a favor, Percival," Fred emphasized his full name with scorn, "Stick to cauldron thickness reports. That way, no one was paying the least amount of attention to you. Now, you're just pissing off everyone off: Family, whatever friends you had, not to mention your girlfriend!"

"I'm not surprised that Penelope dumped you," Fred said with a shake of his head.

Fred stood next to George and both started to make for the door. 

"Open you eyes Percy," George said over his shoulder. "When You-Know-Who makes his move, you'll be on the wrong side or worse, the side that gets crushed first, especially if Fudge is on it."

Fred opened the door.

"Wait!" croaked Percy. "You can't leave me like this!"

Both brothers looked at each other and then at the prone form. Fred frowned and George merely shrugged, unconcerned. Then he caught a malicious glint in the others' eye.

Fred reached into his pocket and threw a bunch of candies onto the dropping-covered floor.

"Take what you need," he said lightly.

Both twins left and George closed the door on Percy, scrambling to grab a handful of the candies. They walked only a few steps when George put a hand to Fred's elbow.

"Fred, you initially brought more than one kind of Snack Box, didn't you?" he asked.

"Well, I always have a few free samples in case we get a potential customer. No matter what a certain prefect says," Fred replied with a smirk.

"Well, which ones did you have in your pocket then?" George asked innocently.

Fred rubbed his chin thoughtfully. "Hmmm, well there was a handful of…."

A scream emerged from the Owlery, followed by an agonized voice: "MY NODE!!!"

"…..Nosebleed Nougat," Fred finished, without missing a beat. "Say, didn't you also hand me some as well?" he ask his brother.

George rubbed an ear absently. "I think so, but I can't seem to remember….."

An extremely loud cacophony of projectile vomiting rang through the Owlery.

"Ah, yes! Puking Pastilles: one of my personal favorites!"

"Hang on," said Fred. "The Fever Fudge you gave me: was that the batch before or after we solved the problem of the puss-filled boils?"

A blood-curdling scream rang through the Owlery.

"Before," both twins said at the same time.

"And yet," George murmured, "I keep thinking we missed one…"

A loud thump, as though a body falling over and slamming into the ground - followed by the insane screeching of owls - boomed through the door.

"Fainting Fancies," Fred said wistfully. "We've got enough advance orders to keep us going till the end of the year, at least!"

George looked at the door leading to the Owlery - now filled with still-screeching owls - and cocked an amused eyebrow. "Think we should send him a Feedback Owl, to let us know his thoughts on the Snack Boxes?"

Fred shrugged. "Why bother? He wouldn't be able to sit anywhere for anytime soon to write anything in the first place."

Both brothers smiled and - arm in arm - headed back to Gryffindor tower.

~Fin~


End file.
